Having just recently entered the “Club of Loss,” I can’t say that I’m an expert on grief. However, I can share what I’ve learned and what God is continually teaching me as I go through this process. It’s not an easy process but it’s certainly one that can result in victory every step of the way.
In the first month or so after Brayden’s passing I literally was deep in the word. I would wake up every morning, go into my prayer closet and dive into the word. I was looking up every scripture that I could find that would give me comfort and sustain me through this journey. As I studied the promises something inside me was stirred up, getting me excited, and before I knew it I was pumped and ready to face my day. The word literally was carrying me through this situation.
However, the month of November wasn’t so hot. I found myself feeling very emotional, crying much more, and finding it difficult get myself together. It wasn’t necessarily a terrible month but I was headed in a direction that I didn’t like. So one day last week I got up out of my bed and went into my closet and had an experience with God. As I reflected on the emotional place I was headed God showed me two critical things I had allowed to happen that were interfering with the peace He desired to give me. First, I had let down my guard, and second, I was no longer intentional about my time with Him. Two critical things that deserve further discussion.
You can never let down your guard. News flash, the devil is relentless and is always attacking. He doesn’t take days off neither does he take breaks. His attacks are constant and he is waiting for the moment when we are weak and vulnerable. Therefore, we can never let down our guard. God showed me that while I had filled my heart and mind with scriptures to help me get through this situation when I began to feel good I neglected those scriptures. I was still in the word but I wasn’t fortifying my mind with what was necessary to manage my grief.
You must be intentional about the time you spend with God. God has so much He wants to reveal to us. So many blessings that He wants to bestow upon us. The only thing that He asks is that we spend time with Him, real quality time.
When grief began to overtake me, the quality of my worship experience with God began to diminish. As a wife and mother undisrupted time becomes very scarce. So, years ago I asked God to wake me up early in the morning so that I could spend focused time with him. Since that time God has faithfully woke me up 4 am to spend time with Him daily. Yet, something had changed. I would wake up at 4 as usual but instead of getting up I would just lay in the bed thinking or scrolling through facebook. Then after having squandering much of my precious time with God I didn’t even get out of the bed. I would simply read the bible and have prayer without truly being fully alert. It was a lazy approach to my time with God which didn’t result in a deep spiritual connection.
Fortunately, I got it. I recognized that I had a role to play in my grief management and I had gotten lazy. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring I just take this thing one day at a time. However, I can honestly say that November is a month of the past, and since I’ve been back on my spiritual game I’ve felt much better. Praise him! Awesome God! Awesome power! Awesome healing!
Have you had to deal with grief? How has God taught you to manage it? Please share your thoughts below. If you enjoy this blog please share it and subscribe. Be blessed.
Thanks for sharing from your experience. I’ve been a “member of the club” since 2010 when my first child was stillborn just 4 weeks before her due date. All I can say is I’ve learned first hand that God will carry you through the darkest hour. In the wake of my loss, I did things I never though I’d be able to do. But God (through His Word and prayer) gives the strength and the breath to face each day. I’ll always carry a certain amount of pain but I now will always carry renewed hope and anticipation for that Resurrection Morning!
Grace and Peace be with you.
SaMonna, God is still fulfilling his purpose in and around you. Here I lay in the bed at my mom ‘s with my father in ICU on a vent and there is nothing I can do but pray. I don’t know when this message was posted, but all has been sudden with him. It’s not that he complains. Thanking God for the encouragement.
You are in our prayers.