Sometimes life can be overwhelming. There is always something to do. Once you get one thing off of your plate two other things are quickly added on and you struggle to find harmony and balance. There appears to be no time in your busy schedule that is set aside just for you. Unfortunately, this is a peace depleting cycle many people find themselves in because they have not discovered the beauty of saying no.
Telling people no sounds like an easy task but for many it is very difficult. It is not uncommon for people to be plagued with guilt at the thought of not participating or burdened down with the concern of disappointing others. There are even some who are just so conditioned to saying yes that the thought of saying no never crosses their minds.
Now of course there are times when we absolutely should say yes. However, the well balanced individual who is pursuing their goals and seeking their best life will recognize that there is also a time to say no without apology. It’s all about balance.
To help you determine when it’s necessary to firmly and politely say no instead of giving that reluctant yes, I’ve provided three simply reasons to just say no.
- You are overspent.
As an adult you will discover that life can quickly become overwhelming. When you have a ton of things to do it can take away from your quality of life. This is why it is imperative that you learn to say no to certain requests. I understand it is often hard to say know especially when deep inside you want to help out. Yet the reality is you are responsible for taking care of you.
You need down time, time to think, time to relax, time to do other things you love. If you are always extending yourself to do this that and the other you aren’t being a good steward of your own time.
- Saying yes will keep you from achieving your goals and dreams.
Each of us should have our own set of goals and dreams we are actively trying to pursue. Yet a lot of times we find ourselves spending precious time and energy helping someone else fulfill their goals and dreams. This is perfectly fine until it directly conflicts with the time you need to work on your own pursuits. You can’t say yes to every little thing people ask you to do. You must learn to jealously guard the time you need to pursue the things that are important to you and your family and say no to the things that would take away from that. Your agenda and goals must take priority at some point and believe me no one else can make them a priority except for you.
- You simply don’t want to.
There comes a time when you simply have to learn to be true to yourself. If you don’t want to do it don’t do it. We can add unnecessary stress to ourselves when we say yes out of guilt or fear of disappointing others. The reality is you don’t have to go to every event and neither do you have to participate in every activity you’re asked to participate in. You owe it to yourself to exercise the beauty of saying no. Sometimes you just have to do what makes you happy and brings peace to your life.
I could come up with a dozen more reasons you should start saying no but I think these three are sufficient enough to help you add balance to your growth journey.
Homework: Pull out your journal and write down all of the things you should’ve said no to in the past couple of months. How would you have felt and what could you have accomplished if you hadn’t said yes? Now reflect on the upcoming months. Evaluate how your time should be best spent and give yourself several solid reasons why you should say no to certain request that might come your way in the near future.
Share: How do you feel about saying no? Share your thoughts by commenting below and be sure to share this post with a friend! Until next time, keep being extraordinary!
If I say yes then I’m committed. So, I usually say maybe, because I don’t like making impromptu decisions. But I always get back with the person within 2 days, because just like I have a life they do too. My no’s are usually final and I usually have peace with the decision because I’ve taken it to the Lord in prayer.
Thank you for this. I recently encountered this on my job. Helping someone out at work by buying them lunch; in which I was more than happy to do it, but it was starting to become an habit with that person not having money at all for lunch. I started praying about the situation, and for the individual. I suggested to that person that maybe they could bring lunch but their response was not positive. To make a long story short I started bringing my lunch. People sometimes take your kindness for weakness. I’ve learned that “I can show you better than I can tell you” is ok too. When its done in love.
I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for sharing and saying no.
This was a chronic problem for me not too long ago. My parents raised us never to say no when asked to do something in church, so I had this idea that I shouldn’t ever say no. When I went back to school 5 years ago, I had to learn the art of saying no. Because I have such a hard time saying it, I too have to say, “I’ll get back to you.” Then I can take the time to think about how it will impact my life. It has been so liberating. I’ve been able to realize the dream of becoming an entrepreneur. I’ve also written my first book. There are so many people that will benefit from this post!
I’m learning to say no. Recently I participated in a meeting that I should not have gone to. It was church related and involved planning a major event. Later, I became overwhelmed with my current responsibilities and potential ones related to this meeting. I prayed that God would deliver me if it wasn’t His will for me to be in the event. He delivered. Now, am more careful about what I agree to do. Learning to pray more.