Tragic events can be life changing.  Often they come without warning and can shake us to our very core, leaving our hearts and minds in confusion and unbearable pain.  Unfortunately, when we find ourselves in the midst of one these catastrophic events we are often tempted to ask the question why; why did God allow this to happen to me or why did things have to be this way?  These are questions we naturally want the answers to however they really don’t serve us any good, stick with me and I’ll explain.  Which is why I would suggest that instead of asking the question why we begin to ask the question who.

You see, when we ask the questions why we are focusing on something that cannot be changed and the truth is many of us will never truly know the reason why.  Even in my own situation of tragically losing my son to cancer I don’t know the reason why.  I’ve come up with my own conclusions but they are only speculations.  God could have a million reasons that I will never know or understand (until Heaven) as to why He permitted Brayden’s death.  So based upon this reality I decided it was much more beneficial to me to focus on the who versus the why.

By focusing on the who we are dealing with what we CAN do about our situations.  Who takes you away from what you cannot change and leads you to what can be changed.  When I began to focus on the who I started to find peace and I was better able to move forward despite life’s tragic events.

So what are these who questions that we should focus on?  Well they are quite simple and below I’ve listed the three that I have found to be most important.

  1. Who is the one responsible for your tragedy?

By having a clear understanding to the answer to this question we set the foundation for our healing.  God is not responsible for the tragic events that occur in our lives, the devil is.  This is a fact.  God simply permits certain things to occur but the devil and sin are the ultimate cause.  When you understand this fact you won’t be tempted to allow misplaced anger towards God to interfere with the healing He desires to give you.  This is why you must know who is responsible for your tragedy.

  1. Who is the one who has the power to heal your pain?

God has the power to heal any and every wound we receive in this world.  King David tells us in Psalms 30:11 that God has the power to turn mourning into dancing and clothe us with gladness.  Only God can do this, which is why it makes more sense for us to focus on the who then the why of our tragedy.  Life must go on, but how will it go on?  Will we allow the burden of our pain to ruin our futures or will we focus on the one who can make our futures bright despite what has happened to us?  Therefore, knowing who has the power to heal us is so imperative.

  1. Who is the one who has the power to restore what has been lost?

The pain of tragedy can leave you feeling empty inside.  Often it feels like a part of you has died.  To prevent this emptiness from taking control of your life you must know who has the power to restore you, and again the answer is God.  Psalms 23:3 states, “He restores my soul…”  Though this statement consists of few words it is packed with unbelievable power.  God can restore your soul, but not only your soul but everything you have lost hear on this earth!  Restoration is a process.  It begins here on earth through the restoring of your mind and emotions and carries on into eternity where all the things we’ve lost here on earth will be given back to us but in a much better way.  Therefore in the midst of tragedy focus on the one who can restore what has been taken from you.

When you begin to focus on the who, the why doesn’t seem to matter so much.  This is a truth that has helped me significantly along my journey and I pray it does the same for you.  God bless!

a notepad and keyboard of a computer. write down and save.Homework:  Take a few moments and reflect upon the who in the various disappointing experiences you’ve had in life.  Now identify all of the benefits you can receive from focusing on the who vs. the why.  Write down your thoughts in your journal.

Share:  If you can relate to this post or simply have thoughts you’d like to share please do so by commenting below.  Also be sure to subscribe and share this post with a friend.  Until next time be extraordinary!


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  1. These questions can help with healing from the loss of a relationship as well. Although, it’s a different kind of loss, a different kind of pain, it’s a situation where hearts need to heal. Thank you for sharing.


      Most definitely! I think they really can apply to a ton of situations. Hurt comes in so many different forms.

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