In today’s society dating is not necessarily easy. Gone are the days when chivalry, commitment, and respect were a standard, instead they have become optional in the eyes of men and women. However, I do believe that women face a greater challenge than men in regard to the dating realm. In the Washington, DC area where I reside, the ratio of women to men is staggering, further compounding the challenges many women face.
God created women with the innate desire to be loved. Thus our hearts yearn for the love and affection a man can provide. This is why, when referring to the marriage covenant, God specifically instructed men not women to love their spouses. Unfortunately, a woman’s desire to be loved can often lead to problems when it comes to dating.
Too often our desire to be loved causes us to do things that take away from our value. The story of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah, provides a sad example of what a woman will do in an attempt to obtain love. In Genesis 30 we find the following account. “And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with my son’s mandrakes. And he lay with her that night.” Genesis 30:16
By no fault of her own, Leah had found herself in a marriage that was devoid of true love, and it hurt. Desperate for the love of a man that didn’t deeply love her, she began to scheme. She determined that she would trade her son’s mandrakes for the opportunity to sleep with Jacob for just one night.
Yet, what Leah failed to realize is that true love cannot be bought nor obtained through schemes. She had traded her son’s mandrakes for the opportunity to experience a counterfeit love, when the love she truly desired was being given to her sister Rachel at no cost. What a terrible reality.
Sadly, too many women today are taking on the role of Leah. Their desire for love is so strong that they are willing to sacrifice their “mandrakes” for the chance to experience a counterfeit love that can only last a season. This sacrifice can occur in many different ways. When we lower our standards, pursue a man that doesn’t want us, give away the gift of our intimacy prior to marriage, or even try to gain the affection of a man by doing or buying things for him we are in fact sacrificing our “mandrakes”.
God never intended for women to be in this position. He desires for a man to find a woman and shower out his love upon her, just like Jesus does for each and every one of us. Therefore, if the man you are dealing with is incapable of pouring out this type of love, freely, and at no cost, you are with the wrong brother. Let him go! Preserve your “mandrakes” and remember you are of too much value to settle for anything less.
What are your thoughts about this post? Have you or someone close to you fallen into the trap of sacrificing your “mandrakes.” If so how did you stop the cycle? How did you feel while in the situation? Maybe, you’ve experienced a love that was given to you freely. How did that feel? When we share we empower others so be sure to leave your comment below. Also, don’t miss another post, subscribe and share today!
After a certain point you feel empty. The sacrifices you have made far out weigh what you have gained. You have been with yourself for over 20 years. 3,6 or nine months of affection just does not compare to who you have become. I’ve been there and I’ve scratched my head trying to figure out what is wrong in the relationship, I finally realized it was me. I had become a shell of my former self. I no longer possessed the ability to love because I could not connect to Me.
Thanks for sharing! Someone is going to be blessed by your transparency.
I feel that it’s easy to settle for a “right now” person. You know you don’t see a future with him long term but you like the attention and companionship. It’s a difficult place to be especially if there aren’t any true “prospects” on the horizon.
Thanks for the real talk, because it’s true. God bless.
What about a situation whereby a man gives allot for a lady then later on realise that the lady is not committed to him…
Thank you!
Good point Herbert, because the reality is it goes both ways. If a man is giving, giving, and giving in a relationship and the woman seems to not care, it’s time for him to move on. No one likes feeling as though what they are sacrificing or putting into a relationship is not valued. I’m sure there is another woman who will appreciate what that man has to give.